3 Important Steps to Overcome Porn That You Must Start Doing Now

If you have read any modern personal development book you will notice that many authors cite research studies, data, and general knowledge on overcoming addiction habits. With all the information that we know today, it’s fair to ask: How did people 100 years ago and even prior understand personal development, and what methods did they use? Let’s dive into it to see how we can use it to overcome porn and achieve any sort of success.

In my own journey of struggling against pornography, I wanted to research and seek out answers to the issues I was facing. Having read books such as Atomic Habits and the Happiness Advantage, I found the content fascinating but it lacked direction on implementation. Alas, my only option was sincere prayer in finding an answer to my questions. Eventually, I came across books written prior to the 1990s and some as old as the 1920s. A recurring theme in these books was how thought, desire, and willpower were all connected to the actions of man and what he becomes. These are the three principal ingredients to achieving any form of success or breakthrough in life.

The first principle is related to thought and there is a well-known adage that goes, “as a man thinketh, so is he”. I’ve mentioned this in my previous article as well, but I’m going to go into detail for you so that you understand the importance of this. Modern books on personal development very scarcely mention the importance of how our thoughts lead to our every action in life. Through some introspection, you will also realize that all your actions are somehow tied to your thoughts. The fact that you wish to overcome pornography is a thought that has led you here. It is the same thought that made you join NoFap or learn how to overcome your urges. Thoughts are the mechanisms behind why some people are doctors and others are firefighters. Every person has envisioned in his or her thoughts the idea of wanting to become something or do something. Chris Hadfield had always dreamed of being an Astronaut and he managed to achieve it. Napolean dreamed of new land and he found it. Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned a dream of blacks and whites co-existing peacefully and he fought for it. All of these people had one thing in common, they formed the right thoughts in their minds about their goals and the rest was history.

The journey you are on is like that of a mountaineer. You’ll face many setbacks but ultimately win if you don’t give up.

To overcome pornography, you will need to think like this as well. The first step is in conquering your thoughts and taming them. It is a very bitter process but takes practice and patience to overcome. You’ll need to eliminate all evil thoughts from your mind otherwise you will fail again and again. The easiest way to tame your thoughts is to replace them with something else. If you have a hobby or notice an interest in something else then use that to replace any bad thoughts. For example, I often contemplate my future and find ways to improve my career. As a result, anytime a sexual or negative thought enters my mind I simply think about my future career and how I envision it. You also need to find a way to dwell on thoughts unrelated to pornography or anything that causes you to act out. Once you can think about something else it is a matter of constant elimination and replacement of thoughts. One bad thought enters your mind and the next moment you shake yourself out of it and replace it with something else.

Think of your mind as a garden. A bad thought is like a weed in this garden, and if it is left to itself, it will grow and spread more weeds. It will reach a point in which this garden of your mind is now littered with weeds, thorns, and poisonous plants. Therefore, a gardener must cultivate the habit of caring for his plot, as you should care to cultivate your mind. Remove these so-called weeds and replace them with noble thoughts. Through time, the weeds will diminish and your garden will flourish with aromatic flowers and beautiful vegetation. Such a garden will be a delight to your heart and to your soul. Your mind is your garden, you must not neglect to care for it.

If you’re interested in some of the books I have read, then I recommend reading As a Man Thinketh by James Allen.

Now let us move on to the second step which involves desire. Desire is very much linked to your thoughts as well. Without the right application of thought, desire towards pornography or other bad habits will lead the way. The goal with desire is to direct it to overcome your bad habits. To do this we must use our thoughts again, in order to charge the desire within us. Here are some methods you can use to increase your desire to overcome porn:

1. Create a mental vision of yourself having overcome porn. Envision it clearly in your mind and think about how incredible the feeling would be to be free of this sin.
2. Study from those who have overcome porn or those who have healthy habits and keep company with them. Make friends or acquaintances with a good group of people who can encourage and motivate you toward your goal.
3. Remind yourself every day that your desire to overcome porn is increasing. This is a method of auto-suggestion and helps to fuel desire as well. It takes practice and diligence to be able to do this.
4. Lastly, you must earnestly pray to God for His help. Not all of you who are reading this may be religious, but those of you who are, do not neglect the power and blessing of prayer.

These four steps are a good way to practice increasing your desire for overcoming porn. As you can see, everything is interconnected, so if one area is neglected the whole objective will fall apart. Thoughts create desire and desire is born out of thought. Without the right thoughts, your desire will also diminish. As you will see in the next few paragraphs, the last step is willpower and it is strongly connected to the preceding two steps.

Willpower is desire in action, and desire is the result of the application of a certain thought. These three steps are to be followed strictly if we are to realize any benefit of overcoming porn. Related to thought, is the imagination. It must also be kept under our guidance. If the imagination is left to our sexual fantasies then soon our desire will follow. The inevitable relapse will become a constantly recurring theme in our lives as a result and willpower would cease to exist against this sin.

A lot of us, including myself, have struggled with controlling our imagination. It becomes a powerful force that feeds off our sexual desires if it is left unchecked. It is necessary to reverse the damage we have done to our minds. The mind will suggest thoughts that will fuel the desire for porn. This can be fed into your imagination as well and the worst times are at night and when you’re bored.

Learning and practicing to control your thoughts, redirecting your desires, and fueling your willpower is necessary to overcome porn. The battle is truly within ourselves. It is the sole reason why I often mention that you must wage a war against yourselves. Wars are not won overnight, they take time and practice, and strategic guidance. We can only keep willpower alive if we strictly guard ourselves against evil suggestions.

Now is the time to take a small step and tame your thoughts, thus your life will be transformed!